Sometimes life you know it ain't what it seems...

Site Change Complete

2005-07-19T10:25:00.000-07:00

Click here for the new blog location!

God bless the people of every nation.

2005-05-30T15:04:00.000-07:00

[IF YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST PLEASE LEAVE IT AT THIS SITE.]

CNN Presents, George Bush in World War II --yesterday's program. It showed America's 41st president returning to where he was shot down 59 years ago near the Japanese island of ChiChi Jima—an island where several U.S. pilots had been captured or killed during the war. It spoke of Bush's rescue by a U.S. Submarine and the death of the rest of his crewmen who did not make it out of the plane. Although Bush believes that he acted correctly and gave the right order to parachute from the plane, he does mourn the loss of his crewmembers. Bush stated that this experience at age 18 made him more aware of the costs of sending other people's son and daughters to war during his presidency.

The issue this program raised for me came when the past president spoke of reconciliation between himself and the Japanese. During Bush's presidency, the Japanese Emperor Hirohito died. Many in the American government would not go to his funeral because of his past involvement in the war. Bush decided to attend the funeral and spoke not about the past, but the future. It was an act of reconciliation towards Japan. Now, years later, as Bush approached the Island of ChiChi Jima, he placed wreaths in the ocean in remembrance of his lost crew members, and was greeted by Japanese soldiers. Welcomed on to the island, Bush was allowed to raise a ceremonial America flag, and was saluted by a Japanese Admiral--someone who was once considered an enemy. A powerful picture of what Memorial Day means to me.

Memorial Day is more than raising a flag and flying it half-mast. It is more than a moment of silence in remembrance of American soldiers. It is these things, but it is also more. It is more than wearing patriotic clothing, or, knowing all the words to and singing My Country Tis of Thee and God Bless America.

I am hesitant about holidays and events that focus too much on America and Americans. I feel like we are too close to cutting ourselves off from the rest of the world. God Bless America, and forget about the rest of you. Or, in remembrance of past or present battles, letting hatred for other countries--they killed our troops--surface. It is not that I do not support the American military, or that I do not see good in asking God to bless our country. My concern is when this is carried too far. To focus so much on America and our losses that we forget that others have been lost as well. Others who are not American. What do we do to remember these?

What do we use Memorial Day for? Is it a day to rebuild our pride and puff ourselves up, or, a day to work towards reconciliation between countries that we have been fighting either with weapons or language/politically? Do we remember our soldiers only, or those they fought against as well? As a Christian, I think this includes the enemies as well as those we love; enemies of the past or present. Memorial day should be a day of reconciliation as well as remembrance.

[IF YOU HAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST PLEASE LEAVE IT AT THIS SITE.]

new posts at new location

2005-05-27T12:57:00.000-07:00

Most of my new posts are on the new blog, so if you're wanting new posts look there.

Don't change your bookmarks so fast

2005-05-26T07:37:00.000-07:00

I'm still not sure about the switch over so don't go and change all your links and such. I guess I just don't know how much blogging is really worth to me. 10 dollers a month, 15 dollers a month, free... What am I really promoting here anyway? Blogging is one of those things that I enjoy doing, so, I put a lot of effort into posts. Yet, no one leaves comments so it's as if I'm rambling off into thin air. OK, so maybe there are 2 people who comment. 1 almost regularly and the other changes from whoever happens upon the blog in a given week. Would anyone really care if I suddenly stopped posting? No, I'm not going to write this elaborate post about how blogging has taken over my life and inhibited real conversations. I'm not going to tell you that I suddenly don't see the value in blogging and that I am quiting it forever--erasing my site and past site. I'm not going to reinstate my political posts just for the sake of comments either. And, no, I'm not going to claim to do something so outrageous as put dreadlocks in my hair either. Although, sometimes that seems to be the only way to get comments out of people.

Possibly making a site change...

2005-05-24T16:52:00.000-07:00

So, I've gone and registered with Typepad.com...

Check out the new site and tell me what you think.

Beyond Ordination: Hindrance and Support of Female Clergy in the PC (USA)

2005-05-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

Inspired by some conversations at seminary last semester, and upon reading this blog of another female seminarian, I've decided to raise some of my own questions and use this blog as a means of gathering input on the issue.

Women in ministry.

So, it's no big news that women are in ministry. Most denominations recognize women as leaders within the church. Women are even preachers in some denominations. However, the growth of women clergy in the Presbyterian Church (USA), and other denominations, does not mean that the traditional view that men make better clergy has vanished. In my Research Methods class at Austin College, I addressed this issue by writing a proposal for a study I would do if I had the funding and resources. It addressed the concern of the treatment of women clergy throughout their journey towards becoming a minister, their years as ministers, and if they feel supported in their choice of vocation from their friends, family, and church body. I still feel like this is a valuable study and would pursue it if at all possible.

The study looks specifically for hindrances that women clergy have encountered. Do they experience hindrances in ministry beyond the common clerical hindrances, mainly in the area of gender prejudice/conflict stemming from the traditional roles of women, family issues in the area of home and career and the need to balance these or set priorities, and overcoming the tradition that religious leadership is reserved for males? Are there hindrances by the church to start the process of becoming a minister? Do they encounter problems in seminary, finding a church, life in the church? Do they feel like women are encouraged to take part in church leadership? I am interested in specific instances of hindrances and what kind of support the women received—how she was supported, if at all, by her family and congregation.

Other issues would be how men view women clergy and how women react in situations of conflict verses how men do and whether this is a gender issue or personality issue at the core. The list could go on. It's a large and involved issue--and controversial for some.

Basing the study in the Presbyterian Church (USA) many would think this study obsolete, but I would disagree. Yes, the numbers of women clergy are increasing and the numbers of females entering seminaries are increasing, but this does not eliminate past hesitance towards female clergy. Hidden prejudices may exist towards women in ministry even in those that would say they are for women’s ordination. This study would not only pertain to the PC (USA) because it is good for all to be educated on the stance of other denominations so that one can learn from the other.

So, if I’m not going to actually do the research to this project any time soon, in the original proposed form, I thought it would be a venture to see what feed back I received from the blogging world. I am interested to hear your stories and thoughts. Post a comment (you can do so anonymously if you like) or e-mail me.

Texas Music: Buster Jiggs

2005-05-20T17:46:00.000-07:00

Went to a free Buster Jiggs concert last night at the Executive Surf Club. It's all about promoting the uprising stars those free concerts. And it worked. For me and my friends at least. We're now fans of BJ. Listen to Buster Jiggs.

Check out Buster Jiggs. Texas Music.

Resorted to video games...

2005-05-20T16:48:00.000-07:00

The Spurs are in the playoffs. Sweet.

Can I just say that it's weird being home? I'm not used to answering to people, much less multiple people, when wanting to go out and do something. I've been away from home for 5 years only visiting a couple times a year. It's a different way of life around here. I do need a summer job other wise I'll have no money to escape every now and then and who wants to sit on their bum all summer? I've already gotten a bit tired of that.

Started playing Zelda: Ocarina of Time again, however. I tried a while back, but it messed up and wouldn't let me finish one of the temples I was in. This frustrated me and I haven't wanted to try again. Since then there are now Majora's Mask, Wind Waker, and the soon released Twilight Princess. Seems that I will be busy trying to catch up with all of them. Makes it hard when the only time I can do this is when I'm at home...

In the news

2005-05-17T14:44:00.000-07:00

Recently found this blog by Michael Yon. He is in Iraq and writing about his experiences there and the lives of the soliders and Iraqis. I started reading from January 2005 when his posts began and am now somewhat through the month of March. Very moving blog and eye opening. After reading this post and looking at the picture I feel there are song lyrics in the making.

Also, I'm glad that this proposed Texas bill did not go through... There are more important things to deal with people.

In Corpus

2005-05-16T11:11:00.000-07:00

Made my way home.

South bound 35 to 37 to the Blacklock back door.

Locked myself in the station wagon upon arrival.

Mark and Aaron like to attack me when I get home (they both recently turned 12--yikes) so I sometimes hide from them to avoid the inevitable. They both said they wouldn't attack me this time, and they didn't, so it was good. The last time I came home--Christmas!--both of them attacked me and I fell over into the couch.

Mi familia. :)

Stress relief....very humorus...

2005-05-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

Jenn is studying for her final at 7 pm therefore I was inspired to post on the blog again....

And in the midst of everyone's finals craziness and in honor of those who have finished or are almost there, I link you to....this...

Powerless does not mean actionless

2005-05-12T07:47:00.000-07:00

How many times have I thought to myself, "I'm going to Africa."? How many times have I felt a longing and a yearning to jump on a plane and land in Africa? The desire to go is overwhelming. Sometimes I pretend it doesn't exist. In fact, I have pretended for quite some time. Long enough to become comfortable where I am. Too long.

Maybe I figured that it was time enough for me to move on from the longing to see Africa and meet the people there--I obviously need to find something more practical to do with my life...living in a village or city in Africa is not practical. I obviously cannot be that serious about living in Africa, even if only for a short time, because I have done nothing to actually do it. All thoughts, all talk, no real action. I better just forget about it. Besides, I am also a bit scared of Africa. Could I really live there and face the poor health conditions of the children? Could I really be face to face with people dying of AIDS? What is there for me to do anyway? I can't stop the epidemic. I can't stop their dying. I am powerless. Did I forget my desire to go to Africa or talk myself out of it?

Powerless people. Perhaps that's what they need. Powerless people who are willing to let their hearts break with them. Powerless people, who, if they can do nothing else, will be a loving presence among them.

Rick Ufford-Chase is in Africa this week. As he relays his thoughts about going to Africa, his sentiments follow mine, "going to Africa actually makes me a little nervous, because I'm just not sure I have enough time in my day, energy in my life, or even room in my heart for more of that suffering and beauty."

Powerless Mary. I think the real question I should be asking myself is, "How can I not live face to face with the poor health conditions and people dying of AIDS?"--in any country. Powerless does not mean actionless.

My Personality Type

2005-05-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

Your #1 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #2 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

Your #3 Match: ESFP

The Performer

You are a natural performer and happiest when you're entertaining others.
A great friend, you are generous, fun-loving and optimistic.
You love to laugh - and you like almost all people equally.
You accept life as it is, and you do your best to make each day fantastic.

You would make a good actor, designer, or counselor.

Your #4 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #5 Match: ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Could it be for real that I've switched into the rhelm of extroverts?? What I have traditionally received on this test is ISFJ, which is the 4th choice down and the only introvert option! I was talking to friends about this the other day actually. About 5 years ago I was on the extreme introverted side--as in I answered every question refering to interverts as an introvert. No extroverted tendancies whatsoever. I realized this was something I needed and wanted to over come. As I've taken this test over the last 4 years I've seen myself progress from extreme introvert to less extreme introvert, contintually moving closer to the middle of the spectrum and towards the extroverts. I think I'm still more introverted than extroverted, but maybe this means I am closer to the middle ground for both of them. That would be pretty sweet. I bet I'll take another one of these at camp, so I guess I will see if the results are the same. As for careers, I am hoping to use this summer to gain some focus on what God is calling me to. I'm rather clueless. I am hoping a summer of processing the last year will help that, as well as some inner reflection. Anyway, here are my results. Do you think they are accurate?

Endings, beginnings, and renewals

2005-05-10T07:01:00.000-07:00

Folks, my first year of seminary is offically over and I've been in Texas since Sunday... It's wonderful! I'm hanging out with my friend Jenn from college for the week--in the great city of Austin. We're heading up to Sherman for AC graduation at the end of the week to see Kara and Katie graduate from the teacher program. I'm real excited to be back in Texas and to see everyone again! Hopefully I don't die of heat cramps, heat exhaustion, heat stroke....you know, all the glorious plagues of a Texas summer. Working at camp will be wonderful though--if only they would call and tell me if I'm offically working there or not!

I guess I'm working backwards in terms of blogging content since I've missed for a few...

Sunday should have contained a link to this Mr. T video: Treat you mother right. It being Mother's Day and all. Snagged the link from Dave.

Saturday was a day of packing up all my stuff, moving some of it into storage in the basement of my hall, and putting most of it above my closet. Sorta looks like this... I remembered how much I hate packing my life up in a box at the end of every year, only to unpack it so that it can later be repacked. Josh is on to something here (and yes, the picture I linked to came from Josh's site). Joyful will be the day when I have my own place and can forget about packing up my life--at least for a few years.

Friday said hasta la vista to Church History and my first year at Princeton Seminary. It feels like I have survived more than finished. I think it was Matt who said that we need to receive something from the school upon the completion of our first year--a medal or ax of some sort. Wouldn't that be awesome...

With every ending there is a beginning and the chance for a fresh start.

Bring it!

Educational Insanity

2005-05-04T10:35:00.000-07:00

A summary of my week as categorized through the insanity of a graduate education:

You know you've reached new levels of educational insanity when...

you take a study break to brain storm on scenarios for low ropes facilitation, and after coming up with one involving escaping a burning ship to a ship that is not burning, the only other idea you can think of is to tell your campers to picture themselves going from one ground of being to another ground of being....

the light at the end of the tunnel is not necessarily because you're finished working, but that the sun is rising to bring in a new day before you've finished the last one...

(this one may deserve a warning...I heard someone say this, and, just to reiterate the point of the educational insanity phrases, for this to become a way to describe the educational process, there is something wrong...)

you relate your study habits to eating disorders...binge and purge...

you seriously consider connecting yourself to an IV of ever flowing caffeine...

_____________________________

This is a series inspired by Peter Allen:

You know you have reached new levels of educational insanity when...

you calculate the percentage of your brain activity.

You know you have reached greater levels of educational insanity when...

your brain activity is only operating at 37% +/- 1%.....

You know you have reached an exceedingly high level of educational insanity when....

your brain activity is below 25% and decreasing rapidly +/-1%....

_____________________________

Hope you enjoyed the above--they are based off of personal experience and/or the comments and experiences of my fellow seminarians.

_____________________________

* 2 more classes are over--Sin and Salvation in the Old Testament as well as Intro to the New Testament! Church History final is on Friday...then I'll be finished....

** I leave for Texas in 4 days!

*** I'm going to the Austin College graduation!

**** That means I can sing in the A Cappella Choir as an Alumni!

***** I can't wait to see everybody! :)

I'd sing for you...

2005-05-01T22:40:00.000-07:00

This song is pretty accurate....

This one too:

Obladi oblada life goes on
how the life goes on

It's me

2005-05-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Apparently I'm famous.

Mary Blacklock in this quality movie. Check the full cast, I'm sure Susan was a great role for me...

In more important news....

Systematic Theology I is offically over!

Reading week began today...

2005-04-25T14:08:00.000-07:00

Does that mean I should be reading?

Where is the motivation to study?

It better arrive shortly or there will be problems shortly!

It's crazy to think I've almost finished a year of seminary...only by God's grace!

All this to say, the blogging world should not and cannot consume my time for the next 2 weeks. I'm peacing out till it's over.

Machete Season: The Killers in Rwanda Speak

2005-04-21T14:15:00.000-07:00

I was going to wait and post on the book Machete Season: The Killers in Rwanda Speak once classes ended and I had time to start reading it. However, with people arriving at my blog with phrases such as Hotel Rwanda "where was God" that bring them to this previous post, I thought I would mention the book before having read it.

A while back I happened to overhear a guy who works in a local coffe shop mention getting a book from the free box in one of the local bookstores. I thought I'd check it out. I ended up finding an uncorrected proof of Machete Season and picked it up. When this book is published (June 2005) it will be the first English edition. The French edition was originally published in 2003.

A book that does not shrink away from the realities of the 1994 massacre which turned friend and neighbor against one another, should be a challenging read. Watch for it!

Joyce Chun-Reconciliation

2005-04-19T22:18:00.000-07:00

I've mentioned previously my friend and fellow song writer Joyce Chun. I recently found a recording of a song she wrote for a North Korea Missions Conference and wanted to share it with you. It's a beautiful song entitled Reconciliation. May this song bless the Church seventy-fold.

Introspection for common reflection

2005-04-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Will I ever be satisfied with what I have, or will I always want more? Why am I not content with the blessings in my life, always wanting what is beyond my reach? Never at peace with where my life is going. Yet, what I do need more of, I am satisfied to ignore. Satisfaction with what I should not be satisfied with, and unsatisfaction with what I should be satisfied with. Every day I ignore this fact the problem grows. To ignore any longer places my focus on God at risk. Instead of turning to God to thank Him for my blessings, I begin to wonder, question, and doubt whether what I have really is a blessing. Can I not place my desires to the side, just this once? And have them stay on the periphery? Why must my happiness be confused with blessings, so that when I feel less blessed, I am less happy? When things don't turn out like I want them to, I am suddenly distraught. What I thought was a blessing is suddenly a curse because I cannot see God's plan and am impatient to wait for it. For once, can I not just trust God without falling into the same pattern of impatience? Why am I in such a hurry to know God's plan for my future that I forget the journey that is now? I forget the beauty of the process and concentrate on the end, which frustrates me because I cannot see the end. The goal is hidden. I hate it when things are hidden and unknown. I want to be in control. I want to at least know the direction I am headed in the various areas of my life--relationships, vocation, academics, music. I resist trusing God even though I know that I shouldn't resist. I resist because it's all I seem to know. I resist because it's more comfortable than faith in the unseen. I resist even when I know it causes me more pain that it is worth. Places me back at the beginning. I don't want to go back to the beginning! I've come so far! Trust is at hand, and the littlest things distract me from it. Will I ever be satisfied with the blessings God gives me, or will I continually desire more?

It reminds me of this statement:

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, No.
I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.

Happiness is up to me?! I don't want to hear that...it's God's job to make me happy. Or, is it? Should not my life be so centered on God that the journey He takes me on is a constant blessing? Should not every aspect of my life be an act of worship to God? If it is not, then there is the source of my unhappiness. I am living for myself, my own desires, and my imperfection, rather than for the God who created me and desires more for me than I can imagine.

How do you define "crawling pace" anyway?

2005-04-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

So, I fibbed and decided to save my other posts from yesterday for another day. Sorry.

And, I'm not going to post on the marathon yet so that I can do justice to the event--I need pictures and those will arrive in due time.

Until then, let it suffice to say that Michael's crawling pace is definatly not what I would call a crawling pace...but hey, what do I know...

More to come....

Concerning said Marathon

2005-04-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

There is so much I want to post now, it's ridiculous.

First of all, I want to make a comment on the marathon on Sunday. I've been working my way up on running this week. After I posted on Tuesday and then went on my run, I about died and wanted to change my mind. I'd already posted and told Mike I was running though. Thursday I approached the running a bit different than I have in the past. I had let myself fall into the bad and nasty habit of running for about 15 mins. and then stopping. Then run/walking the rest of the way. I realized that this wasn't going to get me through the last 3 miles on Sunday at any respectable pace, therefore I made myself run double the time I usually do without a stop. Even when I did stop it was a min. stop and then when I started running again and ran the rest of the way...it didn't hurt and was rather enjoyable.

I figured that I would run today, take tomorrow off, and then I'd be ready for Sunday. I was rather impressed with myself today because I did the route I ran on Thurs without stopping the whole way. A good 40 mins. I think. If you're a runner and think that a 3 mile day is a lazy day, then I don't want to hear it. :) I might have even exceeded 3 miles, which would be awesome.

As I told Michael today, "I'm ready for Sunday!" Let's just pray that his end of the marathon crawling pace does not equal my trying as hard as I can and yet still falling behind pace... Don't worry, I'd tell you if it was...and laugh at myself, so you could laugh also. It's more so about the idea than anything else. And, giving myself a little challenge in support of his challenge.

I'll post the second thing in a different window so as not to intimidate readers with long and rambling posts...which I have been known to do from time to time... :)

New Jersey Marathon

2005-04-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

Sunday April 17th, 8am.

In case you're wondering, I'm not actually running this marathon. Heck no!

Michael Gross is however, and I think there are other PTS people running it as well (or at least doing other marathons or half-marathons this weekend). I have been considering running a few miles with him and found out that Eric and Matt are (tentatively) planning on doing this as well. I think we decided to jump in on mile 23 and run the last 3 miles with him.

I'm excited about this idea, yet also hesitant. Sure, slowly I'm getting back into my running, but I'm not at a point where I can run 3 miles straight. Running with people would probably encourage me not to stop, but I just picture myself 10 times more tired from running 3 miles than Mike is from running 26 miles... Perhaps I underestimate myself though. ?

As Eric put it today, I haven't run in a long time, but I figure if I can't keep up with Mike for 3 miles when he's already ran 23 there's something wrong.

Hummm...I'm afraid I'll be that sad case.

Props to all those running in the Marathon on Sunday!

The big smile on my face

2005-04-09T16:38:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like you would win in a contest for the GREATEST friends in the whole world?

It's a good feeling.

Sure, life is hard, but that's why we're in it together. When life is rough it's always nice to have people to kick back with and chill in the night air, sit beneath the stars, play guitar and sing random songs at the top of your lungs. Compose tunes that no one else would think humorous--would earn you the label of crazy. I just want to save the memory forever. I've already laughed. Histerically. It makes me want to scream, "Beautiful!"

Beautiful!

The "L" on my forehead

2005-04-08T16:42:00.000-07:00

Ever felt like you would win in a contest for the biggest LOSER in the world?

Not a good feeling.

Sure, you can tell me it's nothing I should dwell on, it's just a grade afterall, and I shouldn't beat myself up over my mistake, but really, I just want to scream. Already cried. Already asked myself "How in the hell!!??"

How in the hell!?

I almost want to write a song about the stupid things we do in life. The chorus being simply, "How in the hell?!"

If nothing else comes from mistakes at least they make for good song lyrics...?

Sometimes/All the time...

2005-04-07T13:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes we see others who we think do not belong, so we shout out their name to embarrass them. Sometimes we try to hide in the crowd, hoping no one will recognize us. Sometimes we are upset that others in the crowd have the things we want, so we complain and grumble out loud. Sometimes the crowd looms over us so that we lose touch with God. Sometimes we feel called to ask the crowd to do unpopular things, and yet we shy away from that call. Sometimes we say to ourselves, "if only I were somewhere else...". Forgive us, God. Help us understand our relationships with others. Help us to be a part of your people. See our hearts, O God. Know our deepest yearnings to be with you. Call us from where we have been hinding to take our place next to you. Welcome us into the crowd of your disciples gathered together in love.

I posted this a while back and thought I'd repost it for my own reinforcement purposes.

Sometimes we are in the crowd and wonder if the crowd really cares one way or another about our presence. Sometimes we cry loudly inside because we think we must smile quietly on the outside. Sometimes we bear our hurts and struggles alone, needlessly, because we're afraid to open up to people or to seek comfort in God. Sometimes we are joyful beyond measure and sometimes we let the weight of life bring sorrow.

Sometimes.

All the time...

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore I will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountians shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountians tremble with its tumult.
Psalm 46:1-3

Jonathan Sacks on the effects of the global market in terms of relationships

2005-04-06T21:37:00.000-07:00

I'm reading this book for Sin and Salvation in the OT: Dignity of Difference: How to Avoid the Clash of Civilizations by Jonathan Sacks.

I've really appreciated much of what Sacks brings to the conversation concerning our current times. In light of some of the recent conversations I'm having with friends concerning relationships--their formation, their maintenance, and depth--I found the 8th Chapter of this book very intriquing. It speaks on the global market and its affects on society. Among the many different points in this Chapter, I will share those dealing with relationships.

A consumer-driven, advertising-dominated culture militates daily against ongoing attachments. It is constantly inviting us to try something new, go for a better deal elsewhere. It should not come as a surprize that this begins to affect human relationships as well. A society saturated by market values would be one in which relationships were temporary, loyalties provisional and commitments easily discarded. It would, in short, be one in which marriage made little sense--and that, by and large, is what has happened. (155)

Quoting Jeremy Rifkin:

'[W]hen most relationships become commercial relationships and every individual's life is commodified twenty-four hours a day, what is left for relationships of a non-commercial nature--relationships based on kinship, neighborliness, shared cultural interests, religious affliation, ethnic indentification, and fraternal civic involvement? When time itself it bought and sold and one's life becomes little more than an ongoing series of commercial transactions held together by contracts and financial instruments, what happens to the kind of traditional reciprocal relationships that are born of affection, love, and devotion?' (155-156)

For life to have personal meaning, there must be people who matter to us, and for whom we matter, unconditionally and nonsubstitutably...we are not made to serve economic systems. They are made to serve us. (157)

The market is a means, not an end. (159)

Any comments?

Adam posted some quotes from this book as well.

Gathering Miriam

2005-04-06T14:36:00.000-07:00

Gathering Miriam is Mary Beth Lecroy and Kiran Young Wimberly, fellow students here at PTS. They are having a concert on Thursday April 7, 2005 in the Gambrell Room upstairs in Scheide Hall. If you enjoy good folk music you'll love these talented ladies.

[from the insert to their cd]

The name "Gathering Miriam" is taken from the Hebrew Bible, Numbers 12. In this story, Miriam is struck with leprosy and forced to stay on the outskirts of her community. During her time of marginalization, her people do not leave her. They await her return, to gather her in again, before continuing on their way towards the promised land.

Like Miriam's community, we want to gather those stories from the outskirts, from the oppressed, from the unheard. We want to listen, and to learn how to tell those stories. We have found that singing is sometimes the best way to do this.

By singing these stories, we, and those who listen, pause in life's pleasures to count its many tears. For the tears are many, and need to be gathered, before we can all continue on the way toward our promised land.

John Butler Trio rising in popularity

2005-04-04T20:05:00.000-07:00

A lot of my hits are coming from people searching for info in the John Butler Trio...sweet!

I was searching Google to keep up with how they are working their way up in American popularity, and found a bunch of articles on the Billboard.com--apparently they are breaking into the charts! Woo-hoo! I knew it was only a matter of time.

At the risk of sounding like a crazy JBT groupie (too late?)...you really need to go to a concert of these guys while you have the chance! They are playing small concerts now to build a fan base and this is the best time to see them. They are amazing musicians.

In America I stand right up next the the stage at a 150 person concert and watch John Butler jam on his 12 string and feed off of the drummer and the double bass player...I've gotten John Butler's autograph on the Zebra single, and talked to them...in Australia they play for 3,000 people. Even the last concert, a year after the experience I just described, there is less personal contact with the band.

Come on guys. If you have the chance to see JBT live you better take it!

Articles from Billboard.com:

Billboard.com March 30, 2005 article on John Butler Trio

Billboard.com March 28, 2005 article on John Butler's trvaling and upcoming US Tour

Billboard.com March 19, 2005 article on American release of Sunrise over Sea. This article describes their sound a bit--you know how I'm always saying they are hard to describe genre wise, it's better to just listen to them, but here's a shot at a decent description.

Found: Pirates

2005-04-04T13:22:00.000-07:00

Arrgh!

Thanks to Becca Sanders for the pic!

Found: Paradise

2005-04-02T18:00:00.000-08:00

Found: Paradise

Third Brown Girls started a tradition yesterday--an April Fool's Day Party, themed towards the beach. The walls were decorated with beach towels, sarongs, lamps, flowers, and other such beachy decor. Rooms were decorated in beachy ways as well.

As awesome as this theme was, I decided that to balance out the bright colors my room needed black streamers and a pirate flag above the door, as well as a black sign with skull and cross bones reading, "pillaging, drinking, flogging".

The inside of my room also found itself in black streamers and adorned with pirate flags, pirate ships, an island where the pirates would hide their treasure, and a kicking picture of Anne Bonny, a female who dressed up as a pirate.

I recruited two friends to join the piracy.

We've also been sighted singing Irish drinking songs wearing Guinness shirts and dressed like a leprechaun. We're a motley crew we are.

Pirate pics will definatly make the blog as soon as I can track them down...

Gizoogle

2005-03-31T12:29:00.000-08:00

Michael pointed me to this site. There's something incrediably funny about translating certian websites into gansta. Like this one for example.

My favorite quotes from the gansta version of my blog:

Wanna Be Gangsta at The Ring of Brodgar. I pusha walk'n around tha Ring of Brodgar n can only imagine how bootylicious an Easta ho-slappin' there would be droppin hits. From March 27th post, Easter Sunday.

"So why do you W-to-tha-izzant ta dread yo hair?" you might be ask'n . Hollaz to the East Side. "Why ruin yo long, trippin' beautiful, straight hair?" Perhaps tizzle is P-to-tha-izzart of it . Yippie yo, you can't see my flow. I love mah hair, but it's been this way foreva. Straight. Shizzort or long, it's straight. (Except fo` mah brief spiral perm days that is.) But it's time ta move on frizzom tha straight n perfect hizzy.

I was jealous of tha bitchez in hizzay schoo` who had long, straight, C-to-tha-izzalm hair tizzy they could P-to-tha-izzull bizzack wit they finga, frizzay ta bizzack, n it fall perfectly into place n' shit. My hizzy was just a frizzy mess. In college, I cut mah hair n stopped using mah mom's good intention shampoo n conditiona tizzle adds several volumes ta yo hair n shit. Suddenly thugz were messin' me thizzat they were jealous of mah hair sho nuff. "You can jizzust run a brizzush through it n it's beautiful." Finally droppin hits. Wizzle I started ta G-R-to-tha-izzow mah hizzy bizzy ta its current length I realized thizzay fo` once in mah life I loved mah hair. From March 27 post, I've made up my mind concerning said dreadlocks.

If I talked/wrote like this would you leave comments the blizzog?

JBT on Letterman

2005-03-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

And I missed the John Butler Trio on David Letterman last night because I lost track of time hanging out with friends. This is a good place to be in--it means that bloggers actually have friends to converse and hangout with--although I really was looking forward to seeing their debut on American TV. I love those guys--they bring the house down. Shout out to JBT.

Happy Easter Dr. Torrance!

2005-03-28T12:58:00.000-08:00

Happy Easter to the PTS President

Torrance Residence Egg Hunt

2005-03-28T12:55:00.000-08:00

Torrance Residence Egg Hunt

Thanks to the Fitz for the pics! :)

Easter Sunday

2005-03-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

For some reason it doesn't really feel like Easter today. Maybe because I am not used to no sun, cold weather Easter Sundays. Maybe it's being so far from my family. Even if today wasn't as Easterish as usual, at least I have good friends here that will dye Easter Eggs and plan a Easter Egg Hunt around campus for the days prior to Easter. I won. I found 7 eggs.

We proceeded to hide several eggs in the backyard of our President Dr. Torrance. We told him of course and they were in pretty obvious places. Once again I would love to post a picture, but you must wait until they are sent to me. He seemed amused. This is not the first time students have done such things. I've heard of students walking to his front door to give him something from a gathering, invite him to dinner in Alex basement, or to drinks in someone's room by way of a paper sign while standing on a bench in front of his office. Ahh, yes...he must be amused.

As much as it doesn't feel like Easter today, it is good to be reminded that it is. Check out Adam's blog for thoughts on Easter and head over to a site he mentions in reference to Easter at The Ring of Brodgar. I remember walking around the Ring of Brodgar and can only imagine how great an Easter morning there would be. Maybe next year I should try an early Easter service--even if it's only at the University Chapel.

I've made up my mind concerning said dreadlocks

2005-03-27T11:08:00.000-08:00

People are asking if I'm serious about the dreads thing....

Yes, yes I am.

It started off as this desire to try something crazy that most people would be shocked to hear about and to get a cool hair style in the process. It's something more now. It's not even so much an issue of rebellion against all the people who scream a resounding "NO, don't do it!", although there is a hint of that.

"So why do you want to dread your hair?" you might be asking. "Why ruin your long, flowing, beautiful, straight hair?" Perhaps that is part of it. I love my hair, but it's been this way forever. Straight. Short or long, it's straight. (Except for my brief spiral perm days that is.) But it's time to move on from the straight and perfect hair.

Funny. I always wanted the hair that I have now, and now that I have it I don't want it anymore. It's not that I didn't have the same hair as I do now, but that I was not grown into my hair--either that or my mom bought me unnecessary volumizing shampoo and conditioner. My hair would poof out, but only the lower half of it. I hated my hair because it was too poofy and I just wanted calm straight hair.

I was jealous of the girls in high school who had long, straight, calm hair that they could pull back with their fingers, front to back, and it fall perfectly into place. My hair was just a frizzy mess. In college, I cut my hair and stopped using my mom's good intention shampoo and conditioner that adds several volumes to your hair. Suddenly people were telling me that they were jealous of my hair. "You can just run a brush through it and it's beautiful." Finally. When I started to grow my hair back to its current length I realized that for once in my life I loved my hair.

So I have want I wanted, yet I don't want it anymore. I do and I don't. Just the other week I told Judy that I wouldn't cut my hair because it just got back to the length that I like it. There is pride involved in taking such a risk in terms of something I've wanted for so long. What if the dreads come out horrible and I hate them? What if I can't wash them out and have to shave my hair? What if I miss running my hand through my hair or brushing my long locks? What if… What if?

It's more than wanting an awesome hairstyle and hoping that it looks good.

It's stepping out of the box that society has created.

It's taking a risk and putting pride on the line.

I think I’ve made up my mind…anyone want to help?

Mary in dreads? humm....

2005-03-20T08:50:00.000-08:00

Alright, so blame it on the obsession with JBT, or on seminary frying my brains, or on whatever you will...

I'd love dreads in my hair...

I could be as stylish as him or John B.

So, what do you think?

Should I do it?

John Butler Trio, New Album and NYC Shows

2005-03-13T07:21:00.000-08:00

John Butler

Music samples and information on The John Butler Trio

Otherwise, I find it difficult to explain accurately the musical genre of this very talented Aussie band.

Their new album Sunrise Over Seas is amazing. I am able to say this with great confidance knowing that I've already heard all of the songs on the AU version of the CD!

The next John Butler Trio show will be on the day of their CD Realse in New York City, March 15, 2005! Visit here for more information. If you go, I'll see you there!

Choir Theology

2005-03-06T17:43:00.000-08:00

Why I love Princeton:

I walk through this archway all the time to go down town. It's part of the University campus. Imagine walking up those stairs and seeing this view open before your eyes. Beautiful. It never gets old.

It reminds me of Scotland castles, and tricks me into thinking I've been transported to a land far away from America. And then I hit Nassau Street. Alas.

The real point of this post, however, was to comment on church this morning. I attended the University Chapel service and was once again amazed at the architecture. Walking by rows and rows of pews, I made my way closer to the front and continued to marvel at the historic building I was worshipping in.

But, as much as I love old architecture [ok, maybe a better word is gothic], the real point of this post is the absence of excitement and participation in the worship service. The Chapel Choir was amazing and the service good. What bothered me was feeling as if I was singing a solo during the hymns, and repeating the liturgy all by my lonesome. In a regular church, quiet singers barely fill a room--in a huge space it is even less of a chance. I kept wishing the choir would leave their high and lofty place and disperse themselves in the congregation.

Judy brought this point up once, and said that it would help give people confidence to sing. I agree. It was painful this morning. I wanted to scream--SING!

"Choir Theology--That's worth 3 beers!"-Judy

History of The Princeton University Chapel

That's the kinda snowman I'm talking about....

2005-03-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

Snowman with beer can.... This picture found by my brother Andrew at this site.

I saw someone on the seminary campus making a similar snowman sitting on one of the benches on the quad...without the beer for some reason.

Hotel Rwanda

2005-02-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

Wrote this for speech class and read it last week. Thought this might be a good place to share it.

Reflections on the movie Hotel Rwanda, a 2004 film depicting the genocide of Tutsis and moderate Hutus in the African country of Rwanda. Prior to the 1994 genocide, in the year 1959, the majority ethnic group, the Hutus, overthrew the ruling Tutsi king. Within the next several years, thousands of Tutsis were killed, and approximately 150,000 were forced into neighboring countries. Children of these exiles later formed a rebel group, the Rwandan Patriotic Front, and began a civil war in 1990. This war, along with several political and economic upheavals, heightened ethnic tensions—Hutu against Tutsi—and thus the genocide of a million Tutsis in three months. Hotel Rwanda is the true story of Paul Rusesabagina, a hotel manager who found himself in the midst of the struggle against the Hutu militia, and housed over a thousand Tutsis refugees within his hotel.

Hotel Rwanda. For this tragedy in my lifetime that I was immune to; for the genocide that I was immune to; for the horror that escaped the hearts of people worldwide—I grieve. My body is tense with anxiety as I watch the screen. Watch the children dancing and singing an African song, innocent, yet targets because of their Tutsi heritage. Watch as Hutu soldiers beat men, women, and children, and kill them with machetes. “A machete is no way to die”. Why were these people abandoned? Why were they left without protection? Why do people hear of such things and continue about their daily lives, saying, “That’s horrible, and turning back to their dinner”? Was there no one willing to intervene?

We distance ourselves from tragedy and let such events go unprocessed. It is the only way to deal with them and not be moved. Yet, how can we ignore a road full of bodies as far as the eye can see; bodies on the road and in the ditches, bodies for miles and miles in all directions. Still, the attitude that there is nothing we can do plagues us. And I look to the gold cross Paul, the hotel manager, holds in his hand, the cross his wife wears around her neck. I wonder if he thinks, “My God, why have forsaken your people? Where are you, God?” because that is what I am thinking. Where was God when this killing of millions took place? Why did he let this happen? I would not have let it happen—if I had the power to stop it. Or would I? This is not the only genocide occurring in my lifetime. What am I doing about similar situations in the world today? There is civil war in the Congo, and the conflict of warring ethnic groups from Rwanda and other countries seeking refuge in the Congo; there is genocide in the Sudan in the country of Darfur. Am I, are we, yet standing by? Perhaps this is not about God’s failings to enter into the situations of suffering around the world. Perhaps it is our own failings.

23) Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.
24) See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalms 139:23-24

Friends, it is time to stop questioning God and wondering where God is when His people are suffering. It can only be assumed by his great love for all people, as shown through His Son Jesus Christ, that God is in the midst of the suffering. This is where we need to be as well. That we would be moved to action on their behalf—whether by donating supplies or funds to a trusted organization, writing letters to our government, organizing a trip to Africa, or by remaining conscious of the suffering and telling others about it, there is something that can, and needs to be done. We must not forsake our brothers and sisters.

Information concerning African countries found at CIA Factbook.

Social Constraints

2005-02-20T16:02:00.000-08:00

Liam's 1st Birthday

Now, pray, why can't I get away with eating my cake as such?

Sigma Phi Chi For Eternity

2005-02-20T14:12:00.000-08:00

(You know, I think it's amusing that the number one way people land on my blog from Google and Yahoo! is by searching for the Mahna Mahna video. Sweet.)

Sigma Phi Chi

Don't mess with Founders

My wonderful Sigma Phi Chi Sisters at Austin College took 5 pledges last night at Bid Night. I'm sad I couldn't be there, but I know they had a great night. Ahh, the fun/crazy times. Perhaps being a grad student should make me detached from the longings of the college days, but, then again, who cares... I'm a founding member, there are attachments to my sorority that obviously some graduates at seminary don't have. Or maybe they're all too old to appreciate such childish ways. I almost ran around outside in my letters yelling out Sigma songs, but I had a Gospel Fest to attend to. Perhaps next year, if there are other Sigmas here to yell them out with me, we can cause a ruckus on Bid Night.

"An army of rooters are we..."

"I bleed my colors green and silver don't you wish you were a Sigma too!"

Sigma Phi Chi Alumnus and so very proud to be...

Hilarious....

2005-02-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

I leave you with this.

I'm rolling on the floor laughing...

[thanks Judy!]

Molly Malone

2005-02-05T10:13:00.000-08:00

You need to learn this song, and then belt it out at top of your lungs.

It's necessary.

It's part of the seminary experience...

Crying cockles and muscles alive alive O!!

Post about as scatter-brained and focused as I feel...

2005-02-03T20:18:00.000-08:00

I know people are coming to my blog--the counter doesn't lie--but the lack of comments throughout my posts kinda sucks. Or shall I say thanks to the few who actually comment. I know, I'm just too intimidating for you. That's ok. It happens. GET OVER IT! :)

I'm real short on motivation...slim to none. Yet, somehow, even though I know I should care, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE BLOG OF SOMEONE WHO CARES?

Maybe a happy note for once. Today was Matt's 26th Birthday. Will bought a cake--an extremely good one--and brought it up to the front of the cafeteria while Patrick and I grabbed the mic to lead everyone in Happy Birthday. Then Will made Matt walk to the front to get his cake. It was great. I have to admit...when I e-mailed people about being "all about grabbing the mic in the cafe and busting out Happy Birthday" I had just finished a great and relaxing conversation with the group of people in my room--and a rather full glass of French wine and a Hopdevil Ale, courtesy of Michael, and therefore had more nerve for that sort of thing. Thus, even as I was writing this e-mail to people, I realized that when it actually came down to it I probably would chicken out. Of course, there was none of that after having e-mailed everyone about it. So, I merely suggested that I have at least one other person up there with me. Thanks Patrick. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATT!

The highlight of my day...

2005-02-02T16:50:00.000-08:00

How could I forget the highlight of my day?

Tres Leches Cake

Lord, I was in heaven today! And it was in the cafeteria no less. It was so good though.

They even attempted to quinch my thirst for a good TX margarita and fulfill my hunger for Tex-Mex. The margarita had no alchohal and way too much salt (glued to the cup...), but was good anyway, and the food was decent, but it only made me want the real stuff and not the cafeteria version.

Alas.

What DID I do today?

2005-02-02T16:34:00.000-08:00

Haven't done any work today...

Seriously.

Thefacebook.com distracted me. Yet another procrastination tool I suppose.

Did I mention that I'm apathetic? It feels like I've gone 7 months with straight school...wait, I have. Maybe that's why I don't care anymore. Must consider this.

The pics posted yesterday were from the excursion to Chucky Cheese the day after the Old Testament final a few weeks ago. Who said seminary students must always talk theology? The rest will make into my photo album eventually. Katie Fitz is the one who actually took the pics, as usual it isn't me.

One thing I did do today was sing in a quartet as a cantor in chapel. The choir sang most of the verses and the quartet led a few of the others. I've only been a cantor one other time so this is a relatively new way of worshiping and leading worship. I really enjoy it.

Perhaps I should read for Sin and Salvation tomorrow....and maybe try and get in some theology...can't get behind in the readings or my critical log won't exactly work so well.

2005-02-01T20:06:00.000-08:00

What man, what'd I do?

2005-02-01T19:55:00.000-08:00

Fun at Chucky Cheese

critical (b)log for systematic theology

2005-01-30T11:20:00.000-08:00

Thought about starting a blog for my Systematic Theology class. We have the choice of taking a final at the end of the class, or keeping a critical log of the readings. If I choose the critical log, I'd like to keep a blog of it as well as the hard copy. Kinda stole this idea from Kellen. It's a great idea, sorta wonder why I didn't think about it myself... ;)

Although, I kinda did, since I posted concerning systematic theology both on the 25th and 27th. It's just the idea of making a whole blog dedicated to that...good stuff.

Other than that, I'm really apathetic at the moment.

Another downhill drop on the rollercoaster of my life...

2005-01-28T11:54:00.000-08:00

Ever wondered why in the hell you can never overcome certain aspects of your personality that continually drive you insane? Ever wonder how in the hell someone else is supposed to get beyond those parts of your personality when you can't? Ever just want to close yourself off from the rest of the world because no one understands you? Because you feel like you've already unintentionally closed the rest of the world out. Because you feel like you've lost all ability to reappear in the world. Because even though you are aching to feel accepted, you'd much rather be alone. How often do we let other people become our identity? How often do those people somehow let us down? How often to we return to our feelings of inadequacy? Do you ever loss all sense of trust for the God who is supposed to guide us? Or is that just me?

Is poverty a systematic condition?

2005-01-27T19:12:00.000-08:00

I remember watching an incrediably powerful movie in my Intro to Christian Theology class with Steve Stell. Romero (1989).

As I am reading for my Sytematic Theology class 4 years later, I reaquaint myself with the story. A Theology of Liberation by Gustavo Gutierrez captured my attention of the Archbishop of El Salvador, Oscar Romero. Gutierrez, suggests that there is "a high price for being an authentic church of the poor". Speaking not only of monetary manners, but of hostile reactions to this sort of church. Romero received death threats for speaking against the powerful in his country who were oppressing the poor, "In the name of God and of this suffering people whose wailing mounts daily to heaven, I ask and beseech you, I order you: stop the repression!" He was killed the next day in Mass. As Gutierrez says, "Martyrdom (in the broad sense of the term) is the final accomplishment of life; in this case, it was a concrete gesture toward the poor and thereby an utterly free encounter with the Lord" (xIiii).

I am just beginning to learn about liberation theology, so I am unfamilar with the practicality of it. It amazes me, however, the passion and dedication it has for the poor and oppressed. It instills in me the question of how extreme will I go in my desire to help the poor; to think seriously about the system and to contemplate how to change it; and how the church can become a church for the poor.

I am also taking a class called Sin and Salvation in the Old Testament. We touched on similar issues in class today. Relavent to this discussion is the idea that the Church is more willing to help the poor through charitable acts than by working to change the system. To work to change the system is to become involved in politcs; the church distances itself from political issues, and, therefore, from the people who suffer. In this distancing ourselves from the suffering of others, are we not in a sense placing blinders on the suffering and falling into sins of omission? What, then, can be done?

Neah Lee and Joyce Chun

2005-01-26T16:21:00.000-08:00

Neah Lee CD Release Concert

Directions to Neah's CD Release Concert on Friday January 29th in NY. There are also links to a promo movie for the concert and sound clips. Check it out.

I also read that Joyce Chun will be playing Thursday January 28th for a Christian Artists Fellowship in TN. Check out her blog for more info on her arrival at this point and details for the concert.

I'd say both events are exciting moments for these ladies. If you aren't where you can go listen to them, lift them up in prayer. They are wonderful. Praise God.

The Grace of Reconciliation-Calvin

2005-01-25T18:46:00.000-08:00

It is one thing to feel that God as our Maker supports us by his power, governs us by his providence, nourishes us by his goodness, and attends us with all sorts of blessings--and another thing to embrace the grace of reconciliation offered to us in Christ.--John Calvin, The Institutes of The Christian Religion, Book One, Chapter Two, Section One.

I learned this the summer of 2003 at the City Lights Urban Project with InterVarsity. I was hit smack in the face with the notion that even though I'd heard of grace, I didn't really understand it. I wasn't living in God's grace, much less letting other people show me grace. When I messed up I took myself too seriously. I let my low self-esteem bring up questions and doubts as to how people could really love me once they got to know me. The grace of reconciliation. This is a beautiful phrase. Grace brings us to the point of reconciliation with one another, with ourselves, and with God. In order to bring about any change within ourselves, the church, or the nation, we must first recognize the importance of grace. Showing grace and living in grace; grace for all people, no matter where they live, what they do, who they are friends with, what their history is, or their relation to you. It follows closely with the command to love your neighbor as well as your enemy. Grace and hesed, unconditional love. Separate, yet interconnected.

Brooklyn: The Musical

2005-01-22T17:25:00.000-08:00

Brooklyn: The Musical

My first Broadway show seems to critical reviewers a waste of time. There are those bashing the script and lyrics, saying it is too cliche, sweet, banal, and showy on the vocal side--nothing to take with you when you leave. This is a mistake.

Brooklyn begins with a challenge to the audience. The cast, playing homeless streetsingers putting on a streetshow, begin their show singing,

There's a heart behind these hands
There's a soul beneath these clothes
There's a story behind these empty eyes
That no one wants to know

And as these characters tell the story of a Paris born girl named Brooklyn who is searching for the Brooklyn born father she's never met, we see unfolding before us the story of one of the streetsingers. Woven into the story is a constant struggle between cynicism and hope, as well as the importance of love. The costumes, vocal projection, stage presence, and emotionality of the cast are wonderful. As the Broadway.com article linked above says,

Two Broadway newcomers have written the show: Barri McPherson and Mark Schoenfeld. The duo first met in the '80s and were reunited a decade later when McPherson found Schoenfeld singing for his supper as a homeless street performer in, yes, Brooklyn.

If you have a chance to see this musical, please do. Then, whenever you see the homeless on the street or in the subway, even if they aren't performers, remember the opening song--there's a heart, soul, and story in each of them, that perhaps you might want to know.

Hesitations

2005-01-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

"I couldn't live in the city. I'd give all my money to homeless people."

"...would that be so bad?"

"...No, I guess not."

Walking through New York City yesterday in a 18 degree high and a 9 degree low--freezing to the point where if my jeans were to suddenly rip and fall off, I probably wouldn't have known it--I kept thinking of all those with no where warm to return to after a long day in the cold.

A man playing guitar on the subway car.

A man playing a 12 string guitar for those waiting for the subway car, unashamed of Jesus.

A man selling me a newspaper on Special Education so he can find a place to stay the night.

A man speaking softly and trying to tell me why he needs change to pay for something having to do with his hospital bracelet.

Maybe they're not all homeless, but maybe they are. Maybe I should just become like those around me who seem unfazed. Except for that man. How does he do it? He just started talking to the man with the 12 string...why can't I do that? Maybe I can. It's a shame that later on, when approached about a newspaper, and having almost 20 mins till my train out of the city, I still couldn't carry on a descent conversation--just buy the newspaper, it's only 2 bucks. In distress I take a seat away from people, yet people fill in the seats. I think to myself, "I couldn't live in the city. I'd give all my money to homeless people." Seconds later, "...would that be so bad?" Money isn't everything, "...No, I guess not." As if on cue, he approaches asking for change for something I can't understand. Do I really need to understand the situation to understand that he's asking for help? I don't even count the dollers this time. Maybe 3? I almost hope I pulled out something more than that.

Yet... Why do they appraoch me? Do I have sucker written on my face? Is it cause I'm a girl? Or do they see something else--perhaps a willingness to help? Maybe they approach me, because I've failed to approach others. When I hesitated to give them money, what did they think? I hope they don't think I look down on them and see them as less than human. When I am debating in my soul about what they'll do with my money, if their story is real, thinking if there is any other way I can help without giving money--why do they approach me when I haven't formulated how to deal with situations like this?

Why is it taking me so long to formulate?

Musicals/This day in 2004

2005-01-17T20:30:00.000-08:00

Musicals

Not sure what to think of these....

Altar Boyz

Jerry Springer: The Opera

I guess the lady from Aberdeen would like the last one..."Jerry Springer, sex on legs." Yikes...did I just write that on my blog?

I guess I can't write something like that without explaining the story, and that I am quoting a drunk Scottish lady... Fun times in hotel pubs in Scotland.

This day in 2004

Just think, my Scotland buddies, a year ago today, we were on our way to Elgin, and stopped to see Castles Girncoe and Sinclair, Old Wick Castle, and the cliffs behind Old Wick Castle. Then after 2 days in Elgin, we headed on to Aberdeen, with a stop at the Glenfiddich Distillery, where I thought about working if Scotch was a benefit. Perhaps it's not too late?

*One day I'll have my own digital camera and will not have to steal pics from people...once again, these are from Stephen.

cheap shots--not that kind a shots

2005-01-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

Quick question....is it self-promotion if I make comments about other people on my blog? What about if I refer to articles and such that I enjoy? Wouldn't that be promotion of someone or something else? Clearly then, I am in this blogging business for others. Clearly.

Helped Boswell pack up and head for DC today--anything to get that guy outta here faster. You're still here? Can I help you pack up those books Kevin? Great...don't let the door hit ya on your way out. :) Totally kidding. All this to say, have a good semester in DC and don't be a stranger.

Enjoyed dinner in the Alex Oratory this evening with several guys. Luke made Lental soup and set up the room nicly so we could all have a relaxing dinner. It was really good, and I think he's cooking again tomorrow night. I have awesome friends.

Watched In Good Company this evening as well, with more awesome friends.

Hoping to get a hold of Karen and Allison so that I can go hang out with them in the city this week.

Waiting for Carrie to get here on the 19th.

See, it's not all about me. Oh, right, that's why you have all those links on the right side of the page...

-Stephen
-Rick Ufford-Chase, Moderator of the 216th Presbyterian (USA) General Assembly
-Na Mare-poetry blog

to name a few...

Shameless self-promotion....

2005-01-15T10:28:00.000-08:00

Gotta love it.

Stole this picture from Adam.

Hi Peter.

A bunch of us hung out last night for an End of Finals/Molly Logan's Birthday/Kevin Boswell's Send Off Party. Fun times.

My first semester at seminary is offically over! Not sure how I got everything done...other than sitting in front of my computer typing away till my hands turned numb and were two seconds from falling off. That and encouragment from friends. Thanks for your prayers!

Apparently, there are some people on this campus who need education on the benefits of the blogging world. Haters. Screw you. I still like you though. Well, maybe not. I need to go make friends now. Apparently.

THE EDUCATIONAL INSANITY CONTINUES

2005-01-10T15:46:00.000-08:00

Thanks for prayers on my OT Final!

Wish I could say I am almost finished, but I still have 3 papers and the Church History Final... YUCK!

Wednesday--Church History Final (for you AC people who've taken Intro to Christian Theo with Steve Stell, it's set up similar to his "celebration of learning"...i.e. drawing the essay questions out of a hat)

Thursday--BioMedical Ethics 13-15 pg paper as well as Church, Community, and Nation 15-20 pg paper due (THE CCN PAPER IS THE SOLITARY GRADE FOR THIS CLASS!)

Friday--NT Exegesis 7 page paper on Mark 10.32-45

Someone asked me last night, "How are you?"
I answered, "Going insane"
He answered, "Good, that's the way it should be"

That's encouraging....

Some else at dinner tonight said, "What do you have left?"
I replied, "3 papers and Church History"
In wide eyes, "I was going to complain, but you just made me feel a lot better"

Obviously, I have way too much to do and I need to go now.

PRAY!! Please!!

I feel like a gnat in a hail storm...

2005-01-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Perhaps blogging for prayer is better than not blogging in this instance.

The Old Testament Final is tomorrow morning...I am freaking out about it. Everytime I turn around I realize there is more that I haven't even begun to study, much less know well enough for the test. I could definately use prayers for the rest of my studying today and the test in the morning--for me to not become too anxious and make myself sick.

Thanks guys.

No Mas Tejas... (till ?)

2005-01-04T20:37:00.000-08:00

Back in P-town.

Tempted to leave the post at that, but you know me...I can't.

It was sad watching all the Tex-Mex and Taco places dissapear into the distance... [Kara, those tamales your family made were muy excellante!]

It was also sad leaving all my friends again. Alot of anxiety in that ride to the airport...the sadness of leaving Texas and my family and friends, yet knowing that I have great friends here at school who I am excited to see. All this and the thought of impending finals, and an Old Testament Review in the morning of which I've done nothing for... Yeah...about that... I should probably go. Yeah...

I'm not blog until after this craziness ends... That's not until the 14th... Anyone think I can make it that long without blogging?

Hummm...

Happy New Year, Texas style

2005-01-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

It's 2005...

What better way to bring in the New Year than hanging out with friends you haven't seen in 6 months! Shiner is a plus as well. :) I'm back up in North Texas, Almost Oklahoma, left South Texas, almost Almost Mexico, spent a few days in Central Texas, the Hill Country. There's a song there, I know it...it's waiting, and soon it will bust through. Spent my days traveling the Highways of Texas, the Farm to Market Roads, the Ranch Roads, the Mail Route roads. Letting Texas fill my soul.

Yesterday, I was walking around the camp I've gone to and worked at for many years; trying to soak up every aspect of nature. I've noticed that when I am at camp, I slow down. I leave behind my fast paced walk and stroll along. I try and take in every thing around me. From the flowing creek, which means there must have been a rain recently, to the tall grasses all laying flat on the ground, which means the river must have flooded recently. I put my feet in the river, cold now without the summer heat, longing to jump right in. I look up and see the rolling clouds which block the sun, and stand there captivated, wishing the night before had not been so cloudy so that I could have stood looking up at the stars. I kick around the water in Blue Hole, looking at the remains of the recent flooding as manifest in the waterfall, and long to jump in. Climbing up around the top of Blue Hole works just as well. Everybody needs a little hill country. Having the staff party on the 30th worked out well since I was heading to S-Town that day anyway. It was good to break the trip up a little, plus I got to see camp people and chill at JKR.

I'm hanging out in S-Town with my friend Katie till the 4th. I'm real excited. I miss seeing my Katie friend!

This is the last post till I'm back in Princeton, and then after that I can't blog till after finals and papers are finished. I have way too much to do when I get back...I don't even want to think about it. I should be studying while Katie is at work... Alright then kids, I'm out.

Songwriting inspirations

2004-12-29T17:47:00.000-08:00

Watched my U2 DVD today...the first section on the DVD is on the making of the CD. It was interesting to hear them talk about making music and their song writing process. I was listening to the CD last night and looking up the lyrics to the songs and was totally blown away. These guys are amazing. I started thinking about my own songs and it was discouraging yet inspiring at the same time. There is always a danger in comparing yourself to others, yet I find it hard not to do at times. I always end up watching people play the guitar, and then comparing my abilities to theirs....when I do this I sell myself short. I forget that I am watching guys who have 20 years on me. They have more experience that brings about things to write about and have been playing and singing longer. Even though I get a bit down on myself, it's more of a motivational factor than anything else--see what can be done!

In the DVD Bono says things that encourage me in my process of song writing. He said, "With U2 it's song writing by accident really...We don't really know what we're doing and when we do it doesn't seem to help." He also says about the song, "Sometimes you can't make it on your own" that the song had "been around for a few years...it was just waiting". I feel the same way about my songs. I write a draft of it and it's alright, but it doesn't really hit me as it should. So, I let it sit for a while, hoping that one day it will come together and it will "be like it was always there". Or, you have lyrics sitting in your notebook, just waiting to be pieced together, changed, reorganized, set in the best place...then you can think about the music. Or maybe you have the music first and no words. It's a long process. It's hard. Sometimes you have to go full circle, like U2's producer Flood said. You work with the song, change it up, and then end up right back where you started. Sometimes I wish I had people to collaborate with cause it would make things easier...but then you'd have more people with more ideas all needing to be tried. I guess I just need to take it as it comes.

I've realized that I had songs in me that I just never gave voice to. I would think of something, or a really good one liner would come into my head, but I would never write it down. I've stopped that foolishness. When I feel something, I write it down. Even if it's only a sentence, or an idea of something to write about. At least then I am acknowledging the thought and opening doors for it to continue. So, I guess I'm a bit like U2...I don't really know what I'm doing, and when I write a song, it's more on accident--and when I try and force it, it doesn't seem to help.

U2//HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB and CCR: Soul Gravy

2004-12-28T20:00:00.000-08:00

Just received my Christmas present from my brother Aaron--we draw names since there are too many of us otherwise. I asked for the collectors edition of the new U2 cd How to dismantle an atomic bomb. This contains the cd, a dvd, and a book. The book is amazing--very thought provoking. I wanted this edition because I heard a friend from PTS talking about it and he really seemed to like it. I can see why. I'm not the hard core, long time fan of U2, although that's mainly because I have just recently--beginning in college--broken out of my Christian music only world, but the songs I know of U2's I like. So, I guess you could say I took a bargain as to whether or not I would actually like this cd, based on the excitement of a friend and the few songs of theirs I already new. From what I have heard listening to the cd so far, I'd say it was worth it.

And Janice bought me the Cross Canadian Ragweed cd Soul Gravy which also has a dvd. Also good stuff.

I love music.

White Christmas in CC, TX!!

2004-12-25T12:02:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd see the day when it snowed in Corpus Christi, TX! A white Christmas Eve and a white Christmas! I keep wondering where I am cause it can't be CC! But it is and I have pictures thanks to my mom's digital camera, click here.

We got at least 4.4 inches of snow which is the most since Feb. 14, 1895 according to
KRISTV.com-Rare snow Blankets South Texas. I think the most before that was 1.5 inches and it was also a long time ago...like when my dad was in 5th grade probably.

My favorite picture is the palm tree with the snow on it and the Christmas tree next to it. These are my next door neighbor's trees--Janice and I got to have a snow ball fight with my bros on Christmas Eve. When did we ever think that would be possible?

Merry Christmas everyone!

Sarah Sumner's, Men and Women in the Church: Building Consensus on Christian Leadership

2004-12-24T11:14:00.000-08:00

I am thinking of leading a group discussion on women in ministry next semester, using the book by Dr. Sarah Sumner Men and Women in the Church: Building Consensus on Christian Leadership. I went through this book last year with Carrie, who was the IV Staff Worker at AC--she's at seminary now as well, up at Gordon Conwell. The book looks at the hidden prejudices on women, that women have on themselves, and what is an appropriate way to deal with this issue. It addresses the scriptures used to keep woman from the pulpit, and seeks to address both sides of the issue. It helps you understand where both sides are coming from. There is also a section on the teachings of our church fathers on women--only necessary for reproduction and not useful to talk to--of which it is possible to see we have progressed on the issue, even if we still have a long way to go. If you know of anyone who would be interested in this type of book discussion let me know.

Interview with Sarah Sumner on her book.

My 23rd of December

2004-12-24T10:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I was trying to get some last minute shopping done with Steph and Jo, after an excellent lunch at Aqua Java, but the lights went out in the mall. I was half expecting a weird chain of events to begin, people running around in a free for all, reeking havoc in the mall, while else where someone is masterminding a way to take over the world. Maybe this is a result from a hidden desire to experience such a thing, although I was glad nothing like that actually happened. It was annoying though because I had to go back to the mall later... But the plus side of that is I got to take the pictures I had wanted to take earlier of the Santa set up. People didn't understand the concept of Santa sitting on the back of a beach car, surrounded by surfing reindeer, reindeer on a wave runner, and reindeer relaxing under a beach umbrella by a palm tree next to the Christmas tree decorated with Sand Dollars and Starfish... So, I took pics and they will eventually find themselves posted on the blog.

So since I had to leave the mall early, I went to the library to research for my bio-medical ethics paper. Here I am a couple days before Christmas checking out all the books on bipolar and depression that my local library has. Did I mention that I hate the concept of having finals after Christmas? I was thinking about everything I had to do yesterday and I started feeling sick--what a way to spend your break after not being home and seeing people for 6 months, having an anxiety attack about school work.

Mom cooked some chicken enchiladas and charro beans for me for dinner last night. So good. And she bought me Mission Tortilla Chip Strips! Did you know that every time I walk into the grocery store in Princeton I look to see if they suddenly realize that they need to stock up on Mission Tortilla chips? Oh, but I just did a store check for stores that sell them and there is one 15 mins from Princeton in Somerset. Good to know.

Tejas adventures

2004-12-21T18:38:00.000-08:00

*Side note: I added the Dunotter picture right as we were fixin to eat dinner, so there was not much time for explaination. This was one of the castles we saw while in Scotland last January. One of my favorite because of the location. Kind of a random picture, but life's more fun that way.

**Another side note: I keep being interrupted by brothers...this is the 3rd? time to try and finish a real post. The only reason I am able to now, is because they are playing Babylon 5 CCG...

So, updates since the weekend leaving Princeton...

Friday December 17, 2001 is the date that the local Christian sorority at Austin College, Sigma Phi Chi, Sisters For Christ, was charted. I am a founding member for this sorority so it's pretty exciting to say that it's been around for 3 years now! I got to hang out with some of my sisters on the 17th since they were having a Charter Party near to the airport I flew to. It was great to see everyone--THANKS FOR STAYING TILL I FINALLY GOT THERE! Holly about killed me on the way there trying to make her car jump a curb...crazy chica. I got to stay at Brittany's house along with Jessica and Sarah which was a lot of fun. I miss those girls. It was good seeing everyone, and I am excited that I will be in Sherman for the Monday Bible Study om Jan. 3rd. If you guys can find me a guitar I'll lead some songs for ya if you want.

Saturday the 18th I rode to Austin with Sarah. This was a blessing because I got to hangout more with Sarah and not ride the bus home! Quicker, less expensive, and I had someone to talk to. Sarah dropped me off at Leah's and I hung with her for the weekend. Ate some good Tex-Mex on Sunday after church--first time in 6 months! Lord have mercy! SO GOOD! Although, I got sick afterwards and threw up...while Leah and I were playing games at Dave and Busters (it's Chucky Cheese for Adults bascially--play games and order from the bar if ya want). Made it to the toilet, just barely...I'll spare ya the details. Then played for a little while longer. but just felt bad. Threw up twice at her house later and slept the rest of the day. Bummer eh? SORRY LEAH! Steph and Jo came from Corpus to pick me up and we went home on Monday after lunch. Been chillin with the family since then.

Brothers are so weird. People wonder why I am not phased by some of the stunts the guys at school pull. Here are some excerpts of conversations since being home--if by conversation you mean shouting.

bro 1: Mary, you should try that pie
me: I am!
everyone at the table but dad and bro 1: (screaming) NO!!!
me: WHY?!
everyone: It's gross! Dad used imitation sugar substitute...
me courious now tastes a little piece--it's the nastiest pie ever so I say: UGH!! bro 1!!...(punching repeatedly)

bro 2: he put his finger in my ear
bro 4: it had gross stuff in it-yellow and green...maybe he picked his nose and then put it in there

bro 3: mary hairy, mary scary, mary starey larry, fairy

bro 5: I know there is something to say about this one too....stay tuned

Dunotter Castle, Scotland

2004-12-21T15:01:00.000-08:00

My favorite Scotland Castle...

*Thanks to Stephen for the picture.

On coming to Texas

2004-12-21T06:33:00.000-08:00

In Newark airport
waiting to board
to leave behind New Jersey
a stop in Charlotte, NC
contines to Houston, TX

In Charlotte I'll board for Dallas, TX
this echos in my ears
"south bound 35...
let Texas fill my soul"

In my impatience
and impending foul mood
resulting from
the man at the desk
nothing more than rude

a smile begins
because of her

a little girl and her mom
"Can we go to Houston now?"
as she speaks I can feel her energy
"Maybe you should run around before we leave"
10 times
around the chairs

a laugh begins
because of her

the little girl
ran 10 times
or was 8
she counted 10 at any rate
and when she finished
she spoke my heart

"Now, let's go to Texas!"

I also thought this post was excellent. On Self-esteem and its relation to the ego. It's good to know there are others who have this struggle and are willing to own up to it. Thanks Dave.

Alan Jacobs, Theology Of Reading: The Hermeneutics Of Love

2004-12-15T10:40:00.000-08:00

Here are some comments concerning Alan Jacobs A Theology Of Reading: The Hermeneutics Of Love...an excellent book that I encourage everyone to read.

Product Description from Amazon:

If the whole of the Christian life is to be governed by the "law of love"-the twofold love of God and one's neighbor-what might it mean to read lovingly? That is the question that drives this unique book. Jacobs pursues this challenging task by alternating largely theoretical, theological chapters-drawing above all on Augustine and Mikhail Bakhtin-with interludes that investigate particular readers (some real, some fictional) in the act of reading. Among the authors considered are Shakespeare, Cervantes, Nabakov, Nicholson Baker, George Eliot, W.H. Auden, and Dickens. The theoretical framework is elaborated in the main chapters, while various counterfeits of or substitutes for genuinely charitable interpretation are considered in the interludes, which progressively close in on that rare creature, the loving reader. Through this doubled method of investigation, Jacobs tries to show how difficult it is to read charitably-even should one wish to, which, of course, few of us do. And precisely because the prospect of reading in such a manner is so offputting, one of the covert goals of the book is to make it seem both more plausible and more attractive.

In light of this, I offer to you a quote from the book and some of my questions:

“To meditate is to attach oneself closely to the sentence being recited and weigh all its words in order to sound the depths of their full meaning.”—Jacobs 102.

In reference to this quote, Why then are we, here at Princeton Theological Seminary, given more to read than this method will allow? Why did every one of my professors say at the beginning of class that there was too much reading to do, and that there was no way to do it all, and, therefore, we must choose what is important? Why are those educated in the field leaving those not yet educated to define what is most important to read? How are we to realize the importance of our texts if we are encouraged and expected to brush over them quickly rather than to read them closely and “weigh all its words in order to sound the depths of their meaning”? How are we expected to interpret texts well if we are not expected to spend time understanding them?

Christmas Dinner, Party, Dance

2004-12-12T13:25:00.000-08:00

Friday Night Christmas Festivities:

Brenna, Kate O, Judy, Mary

At the Christmas Dinner

Kate O, Olivia, Mary, Judy, Brenna, Kelly

After dinner, before heading up to 4th Brown for the party, and before the dance.

Cathy, Matt the Santa, Mary

At the 4th Brown party.

To see other of my fellow class mates with Santa head over to Adam's blog since he took the pics. The other two pics are from Kate O, thanks chica!

A good Thursday

2004-12-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

There were a whole bunch of these running around yesterday. ...It was Burt Reynolds Day on the PTS campus. Quite hilarious. Some of the guys have been growing their mustaches for a month so that they could all get together for a Burt picture. A group of girls were wearing shirts saying, "I love Burt". And, while I was looking for a picture of our hero to link to from the blog I ran across this humourous site The Church of Burt Reynolds. Need I say more?

Another great part of the day was receiving a package from one of my Great Aunts--she sent me a bunch of mistletoe from Texas! She said they sell for about $50 in this area so she sent some to me and my cousin Jimmy who is at Yale Law School. My side of third Brown had a midnight mistletoe ribbon tieing party last night. We now have a bunch of mistletoe hanging from doorways...asking for trouble? Maybe... ;)

And I skipped out of working the kiosk last night to talk with the Moderator of the 216th Presbyterian General Assembly, Rick Ufford-Chase. He spoke to us in chapel on Thursday morning about movement in the Church and I realized that I needed to talk to him. So when I found out he was meeting with students later that night I closed the kiosk and went. A short version of the results of the discussion: I think I will stay Presbyterian now. And if you've talked to me recently about the PC(USA) you'll know I was debating that. More on this later, I need lunch.

Rick Ufford-Chase has a blog as well U C: What I See.

God's will and the World Series, Guinness and my health

2004-12-07T12:51:00.000-08:00

The seminary, or, more accuratly, two students from the seminary, periodically do a newsletter in spoof of the Wineskin which informs students and facutly of the weeks events. This newsletter is the Whineskin. Here are 2 of the best announcements from this issue:

"The Department of Haphazardly Declaring God's Will has decreed that God doesn't want me to graduate. This is based on the fact that the weather has been nice all autumn, and that God made the World Series during reading week, making it impossible for me to study."

"A spokesperson for the PTS Health and Wellness Department has categorically denied allegations that seminary life fosters bad dietary habits. He then dropped six Advil tablets and an espresso shot into a pint of Guinness and dunked in a Snickers bar."

Those both ring pretty close to home for me. So, if you're not on the floor laughing, it's ok, cause I am.

On colors...

2004-12-06T16:24:00.000-08:00

Folks, just so ya know, pink is the new black

product of Hot Topic

Weekend update

2004-12-05T12:10:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been so great! The coffee house on Friday night showed some amazing talent through Gospel singing, poetry, harp, and guitar playing. It was such a blessing to hear everyone's talents and to get to know a part of the person through their poetry, song lyrics, and songs chosen to share with us. I ended up playing a 25 to 30 min set! This was the longest I have played guitar and sang for people with my original songs as the focus. It was a pretty amazing experience. It's hard to know how people will receive your songs, but I feel really blessed by the response. I also played at the Princetorican Cafe last night for about 10 minutes. That was one of the coolest coffee house set ups. They started with salsa dancing and then had the first set, then more salsa dancing, then the second set. Again, more amazing talent. More Gospel singing, more poetry--some in Spanish as well as English, and techno with Biblical references thanks to Nick Hladek. Excellente. Fun times for all. I love this place.

And, I heard a rumor that someone on 2nd floor Brown likes pink so much he docorated his room in pink for his birthday...

Yeah to a fun weekend. God bless.

She sat on a hill side and played her guitar....

2004-12-01T15:52:00.000-08:00

hahaha....ok, maybe not on a hill side (that's the longest and silliest Girl Scout song ever by the way) but in MacKay Campus Center!

There is a coffee house Friday at 8 pm in the Main Lounge where I will play several of my songs. There is also an event on Saturday night, The Princetorican Cafe sponsored by the Association of Latino/Hispanic American Seminarians, which I am thinking of playing for as well. I'm pretty excited since I've been wanting events like these to occur for a while now.

Hope to see you PTS folks there.

Thanksgiving Photos

2004-11-29T21:30:00.000-08:00

Some shots from Thanksgiving:

Prayer

kiddie table

resting before the parade

Charlie Brown was too slow for the football...

*Thanks to Christi and her digital camera!

"Our lives are fractions of a whole"

2004-11-29T12:37:00.000-08:00

My friend Katie from college and the Sigmas points out this song with great lyrics. An excerpt:

"So I dressed myself and left then
Out into the gray streets
But everything seemed different
And completely new to me
The sky the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body
And each person I encountered
I couldn't wait to meet...

So that's how I learned the lesson
That everyone's alone
And your eyes must do some raining
If you're ever gonna grow"

This transition from college to seminary and from Texas to New Jersey has been rough. For a while I didn't even want to meet people any more. The new people that came after the summer group brought back uncertianties that I was beginning to loose with the people who were already here. I had to relive the introductions and I hated that. I didn't want to start over yet again. Definatley some tears and hard times, wondering why in the world I am even here. But one day I realized that I wasn't the only one who felt alone and that there were people here who could help me. And then I realized that perhaps I could even help them. And life has become much better.

We're in such an amazingly close community that sometimes it may feel like we're being sufficated under the constant watching eyes of people who don't miss a thing. Yet, we're here to grow and be in fellowship with one another. So, why do I still find it hard sometimes? Why do I let the blog world communiate to the people on this campus that I never really talk to in person? If they even read this blog. I guess I wouldn't know eh, since I merely read their blogs and wonder if they read mine. Trapped in the can't wait yet dragged back into the house of protection.

"And who is my neighbor?"

2004-11-28T18:45:00.000-08:00

In the process of working on my paper for Fenn, I found myself writing this...In terms of abortion and homosexuality do we have the right to say that is an impurity that is unforgivable? "If I speedily walk past three homeless men laying on mattresses covered in blankets with myself and four other girls in search of shelter and a good Thanksgiving meal before the rain, thinking I should stop and give them my granola bars and talk for a while, yet speeding on past avoiding eye contact and looking back only once, then forgetting about them, am I more easily forgiven than the sins of others? And why is this when all sins are the same in the eyes of the Lord? The problem the church finds itself in is a lack of dialogue and love for people who have sinned visibly unless it is something we ourselves do daily."

Interesting how I felt myself resisting eye contact with these men on the street, yet at the same time hating myself for doing so. But not enough to actually stop. Not enough to forget about what the other four girls would think if I stopped and talked to three homeless men on matresses. Not enough to take the granola bars out of my bag and offer them as their Thanksgiving meal, possibly only meal of the day. And their faces that I tried to ignore stare back at me even now. Does my quick prayer said in haste as our group walks by to get out of the weather--suddenly gone cold and windy with a possibility to rain--even count, when I left them there without thinking of what they would do if it started raining? Instead in marvel over the seemingly cozy space they had made for themselves. Superficial as it were. Wishing I had my City Lights friends here so that they would have taken the initiative to talk to them and it wouldn't have been my responsibility. Cause I passed on by.

This story comes to mind... Who was the neighbor to these men, Father? Cause I'm sad to say it wasn't me...

What kind of blogger am I?

2004-11-27T15:02:00.000-08:00

You Are a Pundit Blogger!

Your blog is smart, insightful, and always a quality read.
Truly appreciated by many, surpassed by only a few.

What kind of blogger are you?

Thanksgiving Dinner and Parade

2004-11-27T14:35:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Wednesday there was a group of about 15 of us that gathered in Alex basement for a pot luck style Thanksgiving dinner. I made pecan pie that didn't have enough time to cool before being eaten so it was kinda scooped out of the pan... The second one that no one touched however is now perfect, if I may say so myself. The food was amazing and the fellowship time was so fun. And the wine was excellent as well. I ended up taking a left over bottle of Love My Goat Red Wine back with me. Rumor has it Boswell brought it. I love it, and I'm not much of a wine person. I'll drink it when other people are, but most of the time it's too sweet or too something else that I don't like... But this wine is really good. It's from New York and it has a great label also--"They have my name & heritage, but they didn't get my goat!" Sounds personal. I would like to visit this vineyard sometime.

Thursday 5 of us took the 6:11 am train for the city to see the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. It was a fun day. I was talking to Boswell a few days before and he said he was also going with some people and that maybe we would see other. I had the suspicion he was being flippant--as if in a million people who are at the parade we would run into each other. So, imagine the smugness of hearing through the crowd a voice saying, "Mary!" and to turn to my right and see none other than Boswell and his crew. What was that Kevin? Although they probably had a much better view than we did it was still fun to see the balloons and hear the bands and see the tops of the floats, watch the Crocodile Hunter on his float, see Santa waving frantically, listening to the kids laugh and be happy about various floats, seeing a group of kids sitting on top of phone booths watching the parade, being in the city with 2 million people. And then we walked for 2 hours to Greenwich for some food at a cute Thai place called Wild Ginger and took the subway back to our train. It was a fun day and I can't wait till I can post some pictures for you guys. Till then, NBC was walking around taking some so people could order them if they wanted to. Christi went inside the Europa Cafe for a while so it's just Nichole, Angela, Katy, and I in the picture.

For any PTS people who are around and read this before 6:45 pm we are gathering to watch a movie and getting pizza at a friend's apartment this evening. Send me an e-mail or something to let me know.-->sorry for no time warning...I tried posting this around lunch but it wouldn't work...

Thanksgiving

2004-11-23T08:33:00.000-08:00

MY THANKSGIVING DAY PLANS

Since I don't get to go home to Texas and see my family... :( I'll just live off the jealousy this gives all my friends back home.... :)

Interfaith Thanksgiving Service

2004-11-22T11:47:00.001-08:00

Last night there was an Community Interfaith Thanksgiving Service at an area mosque as part of The South Brunswick Area Clergy Association. The theme for this year was "Welcoming the Sojourner..Thanksgiving to be in the USA". Muslims, Jews, and Christians led the service in thanks to God for this country. Several Hindus came to the service as well. There were testimonies given by Rev. Billy Simbo from Evangel United Brethren, Rabbi David Eligberg from Congregation B'nai Tikvah, Imam Hamad Chebli from the Islamic Society Central Jersey, Riaz Siddiqui, and Atiya Aftab who was the only woman to speak in this service. The music was beautiful--cantoring the Torah and Islamic prayers in Hebrew and Arabic, songs by the South Brunswick Middle School Choir, and songs by people from Africa. The service closed with everyone singing "America the Beautiful".

The most interesting part of the service, for me, was hearing the testimonies of how the various people came to this country and how much they love this country for the freedom to worship. Atiya Aftab expressed this by saying that here, more than any other country, women in her relgion are able to educate themselves and express themselves. One preacher claimed his ancestory back to the Mayflower and stated that only half of those who went on the Mayflower survived. They survived because of the people who were already here and who helped them. So it seems we are all immigrants. I found that in going to this service I was reminded to thank God for the country I live in. Thank God for my freedom to worship God and to venture dialog with other faiths. As much as America is a mess, there is still much we can be thankful for.

Imam Hamad Chebli expressed that this interfaith gathering was, and is, not easy and I am glad he expressed this. My internal thoughts through out the service attests to this. As we began to worship God, I wondered if we were really worshipping the same God as we were claiming to worship. We are...but are we really? For me, God is connected to Jesus in such a way that when I worship God I can't think of separating Him from Jesus or the Holy Spirit. But, with faiths that don't believe the same about Jesus, are we worshiping the same God? And it's no wonder that Imam Hamad Chebli claimed that he gets asked frequently how he could let Christians and Jews into the mosque to worship God, to participate in interfaith dialoge. This is difficult to deal with and I don't know what to do with it.

I want to end with this thought though. In one of the testmonies it was said, we were welcomed into this country by the people who were here and we need to help the next person who gets off the plane.

Saturdays... :)

2004-11-20T14:24:00.000-08:00

Saturday by David LaMotte

Well I wake me up at the break of day
It's a pretty sky, I feel OK
I wonder how people live this way
and I roll back over again

Because the day is cool, the bed is warm
I got no call for a clock alarm
I don't believe it'll do much harm
if I stay in bed until ten

I've been needing one of these,
No responsibilities
I've been needing one of these,
Saturday

I don't wash my car I don't soak my lawn
But the shower's warm and the heater's on
So I'll stand right here 'til the water's gone
and oh it feels so nice

There's work to do, that's plain to see,
the laundry pile is as high as me
But the Beatles said just to let it be
and that sounds like good advice

I've been needing one of these,
No responsibilities
I've been needing one of these,
Saturday

Every day I drive to town,
I run and run 'til I fall down
Then I make my exit, take my bow
and I just cannot tell you how

I've been needing one of these,
No responsibilities
I've been needing one of these,
Saturday

By David LaMotte
© 2000 Lower Dryad Music

Saturday lyrics

2004-11-19T19:00:00.000-08:00

Highlights of the day:

-No class
-Listening to Cross Canadian Ragweed and Pat Green
-Playing Ultimate Frisbee (I'd missed a few Fridays of it)
-Cool air
-Chillin in the Cafeteria listening to the group Chicago while most people are singing along
-Playing guitar/singing for an hour
-And, while it hasn't happened yet, it's about to happen and I'm sure it will be on the list...The Rat Dance in Hodge. Gotta love seminary parties.

I hate Thursdays

2004-11-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

I hate staying up writing a paper until all hours of the morning
I hate waking up for 8 o'clock lectures after this
I hate 8 o'clock in the morning
I hate Thursday because of 2 two hour classes
I hate Thursday because I have 2 precepts besides this
I hate precepts, or, more accuratly,
I hate speaking in precepts
I hate not being able to formulate my thoughts in speech
I hate feeling under educated in comparison to others
I hate having to rely on the written form of my words
I hate feeling so constrained within my own weakness

Anyone else have this problem, or is it just me?

2004-11-17T15:21:00.000-08:00

City Lights Group

This is a picture from Summer 2003 at New City Fellowship Church. I lived in this building for the summer while spending the summer working with inner city kids. It is the most amazing church and worship experience I have ever had--I loved it and would do my field ed there if it wasn't a PCA church that don't ordain women... The greatest mixture of race and culture I have experienced on a regular Sunday gathering. The service was in French, Spanish, and English. We sang songs in Lengala, Spanish, English which ranged from the traditional African and Spanish songs, to English songs translated to Spanish and Lengala, to traditional hymns, and maranatha type music as well we the more modern praise and worship music. I think I was in heaven ya'll. (I just said ya'll)

Anyway, I think I'll add a blogger category of people that I lived with in St. Louis, MO summer 2003 for City Lights Urban Project.

Dorothy Kim and Joyce Chun are amazing. Dorothy and I were in the same small group and Joyce and I both on the worship team for the learning enrichment program. And, I found out that Joyce knows Neah Lee here at PTS, so I need to introduce myself to her. Both Joyce and Neah Lee are singer/songwriters like myself. Although I seem to have slacked off in that area recently.

So much for a short post...I need to get to writing my paper on Aquinas' Summa Theologiae. Peace yo.

**so I tried to post the above text at the time the picture posted after dinner, but it wouldn't work until now...11:32 pm....and I must say, this Aquinas paper is kicking my butt, I was excited to write it--but I got nothing. My brain functioning capacity is dead. Seriously, I can't formulate my thoughts into a decent paper. How annoying. And the professor is the precetor and last week she specifically said that she would ask me what I thought and to talk about my paper since the side of the room I sit on doesn't talk in class. Joy upon joys. It's almost break time, but not quite...too bad my brian has already shut down.**

Do we need another political party?

2004-11-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

Hope you enjoyed the music break folks, but it's back to politics... How scarey would it be to combine these two? Musical politics. Oh, wait, that was this link I posted last week....

Anyway, thought you may want to check out this newsletter article on political parties by the Lawndale Christian Development Corporation. I thought it was interesting since I've been stuggling with these issues as well. I'm not saying I agree with everything he mentions, like voting for his son in 40 years, but this part really hit me...

It appears that the values message trumped the economic message. Democrats couldn’t believe their eyes when they saw the sea of red. They think that people who voted for Bush were/are stupid and misinformed.

From where I sit, something more fundamental and obvious is at play. The two party duopoly is ruining democracy. Having to choose between the “values” party and the “inclusion” party is extremely polarizing. The branding of the “left” and the “right” keeps most clear headed people from having a substantive discussion about issues. Most people I know hate to be labeled and don’t fit in a neat box or category. Furthermore, most people that I know were not excited about either choice at the top of the ticket.

Imagine going to the ice cream store and only having two choices. You’d walk (or run) out of the store and find a store with more choices. America needs to run out of the current political store. We need a legitimate third party (sorry Ralph) in this country - a party that speaks to both the moral values and the social issues that would unite most Americans.

What say yee? Tired of having to choose between morals and social values? What do we do about it? Flee, as suggested? If you don't post a comment I'm assuming you are all for fleeing.

Music!

2004-11-15T06:50:00.000-08:00

Someone left me and a few of the other girls on 3rd Brown some roses last night. We now have pretty floating roses in our rooms...how great is that! After some sharp investigative work I think I know who it was--and who else would it be? Thanks to this person even if they probably don't even read this blog. :)

Just a word on the choir concert Saturday night--great! It was a lot of fun. I want to mention two of the pieces we sang Benjamin Britten's Rejoice in the Lamb and Vernon Williams' Requiem. Rejoice in the Lamb is an interesting piece with text from Chistopher Smart who was mentally insane. If you read the text for this piece or hear the piece sung without the knowledge of his state of mind, it perhaps is too strange to appreciate. I was a bit resistant to the song until leaning that he wrote the text in an insane assylum. It really is a great piece because as much as it is "weird" it is brillent.

Rejoice in God, O ye Tongues;
Give the glory to the Lord,
And the Lamb.
Nations, and languages,
And every Creature
In which is the breath of Life.
Let man and beast appear before him,
And magnify his name together.

The beginning of the song claims that every part of creation--no matter what it is, from humans to animals to letters on the page--every part of creation glorifies God.

My favorite part of the song though is

For I am under the same accusation
With my Savior,
For they said,
He is besides himself.
For the officers of the peace
Are at variance with me,
And the watchman smites me
With his staff.
For the silly fellow, silly fellow,
Is against me,
And belongeth neither to me
Nor to my family.
For I am in twelve hardships,
But he that was born of a virgin
Shall deliver me out of all,
Shall deliver me out of all.

Fun to sing, humorous slightly with the organ raging loud and singing "silly fellow!" while wishing Katie, Kara, and Jenn were around so we could all appreciate that together, and yet incrediably solemn. Amazing.

And Requiem by Vernon Williams who is the organist/choirmaster at Trinity Episcopal Church in Moorestown, New Jersey attended our concert to hear us sing selections from the piece. I think the general consensus is that we should learn the rest of the piece because it is beautiful.

Apparently they make copies of the concerts and make them avaiable to people so I look forward to getting myself a copy--perhaps my TX friends would like to hear the choir, and my family as well...

And to wrap up this post on music.... The Ha!Man came to play cello here at PTS yesterday during lunch. He is from South Africa and a major part of his music is the theme of reconciliation. He uses classical as well as modern influences in his songs as a the background to his music and them plays spontaniously on his cello. He also spontaniously played the piano, had someone improve on the piano while he played cello, him play the paino along with a student who never played cello before on the cello, and danced for us without any music. Oh yes, my friends, this was the place to be during lunch yesterday. Where were you?

Singing/Songwriting

2004-11-14T15:57:00.000-08:00

I wanted to make some comments on the link I posted last night Best song about God that probably isn't.

Mainly, I am refering to the comment by Pei Yusei which says,

"The whole art in songwriting is to create something that captures human emotion/longing at some deeper level, which is what separates poets from everybody else in society. It's not just anyone that has the talent to take a look at just regular, everyday life and come up with beautiful ways of characterizing it: seeing both the hope and the despair that characterizes all human existence. The problem with contemporary Christian music is that they don't care about any of that . . .Personally, I don't think 'Christian' music in itself should exist, as if there is some invisible, God-ordained barrier separating what is Christian from what isn't."

As someone who enjoys singing and writing songs, I found these words addressed things I myself have wondered about. As a Christian who is a singer/songwriter it almost seems as if you are expected to write Christian music. For a while that is all I would write--mainly slow thoughtful songs about suffering in this life and turning to God. As I become more aware of the beauty that exists in the world, as found in other places besides the Christian bubble so to speak, I began to want to write differently. I wanted my true feelings to be expressed. Not that my songs of God and for God were not brought about my true emotion, but I wanted the freedom to sing about love that wasn't just of the Lord, or of pain and stuggles that don't end in the Christian solution of "but then I found You, Lord". I want my songs to speak the truth of God, but maybe in not as many words. This is a hard balance. I therefore have been pursuing a different writing style, but I still stuggle with the issue of Christian music and Non-Christian music. I used to look down on artists that were Christians but didn't make bold Christ statements...and now, I seem to want to become one of them. Funny eh?

Added blogger links

2004-11-13T16:10:00.000-08:00

Hey wonderful people. I have a few links of PTS bloggers that I've added. Definately not an exhaustive list and I'll have to add more later.

Dave, Dean, and Nick all have interesting blogs with posts on theology, church issues,
and randomn seminary happenings.

And then there is this blog West Coast Chaos that I've come across in my blog wanderings. Check out this post on Christian Music Best song about God that probably isn't.

And speaking of Christian music...there's a Cantate Domino Choir Concert tonight at 8 pm in Miller Chapel. All PTS people should come.

more political reflections....

2004-11-12T16:45:00.000-08:00

So, hopefully, I am not boring all my friends out there who were as bored with politics as I was before this semester apparently....

Here are some thoughts that may end up in my paper for Church, Community, and Nation.

We have a democracy—which means what? We are able to use our freedom of expression and individual rights to formulate our own opinions about current events and issues. We are able to reflect on issues in the past and anticipate those of the future. In our democratic nation, there are two main political parties—the democratic and the republican. The majority of Americans fall into one of these categories but there are a few smaller parties that do not receive much attention: the green party, as well as independents. It would be interesting to see why these independents do not claim a party… In my reflection on political parties as a result of this election, I am first hurt and horrified, second angered, and third confused. My concern is about people’s attitudes towards political parties and those in the opposing party.

Even the word opposing is bad. We are in a class [CCN] talking about how not to isolate the other, demonize them, and judge them prematurly, and yet, this is exactly what I felt happening to myself. And what I feel would happen as soon as I stood up in class and identified myself as the minority in the class. I am not going to rationalize my vote, because it doesn’t matter. Judgments have already passed on me. And why should I have to defend myself? Why should you have to defend yourself? I’m not saying we can’t ask questions of the other party, but there is a difference between asking questions and accusing. There has to be a better way to talk about politics and issues than humiliating someone for their beliefs and singling out a group for voting a certain way.

Samuel from Germany who is studying here in America at Princeton Theological Seminary asked me why Americans only talk about politics with close friends—people in Germany and other countries apparently talk openly about politics. You go to the store and the clerk asks you a political question. It is conversational. The other students from differnt countries, he says, wonder the same thing. Politics is not as hush a topic as it is here. "Why is that?" he asked me. I was stumped. Here’s the answer I could not spell out for him then. For Americans, politics is an extremely personal issue--and maybe more importantly is the reaction people receive when they place their personal political views on the table only to have them attacked. Their ideas are pushed off the table and stomped on, without the rest of the table taking time to consider the view or respond to the person as if they were a person with viable thoughts. We are only safe around those we are closest too and even then we are reluctant to speak. I for one have never made a specific claim for who I voted for because of this reason. I don’t talk about my party affiliation because of this reason. After class on November 5, 2004 I vented my frustrations to this blog—claiming my vote and my femaleness and my Christianity all of which combined had been attacked throughout the week. Afraid? Yes. Because I didn’t want someone to continue questioning me on how I could vote as I did in such a hurtful manner. There were a few responses from both parties--from close friends or people that I don’t know.

I’m not saying to be rid of political parties or that everyone should think the same thing so that we can achieve unity. I am saying that both sides need to be intentional about really listening and understanding the other. We need to work together—that is the unity I am talking about. The name-calling divides us and when we are so divided there is not going to be a stable and reliable government. We’re going to tear ourselves apart running in opposite directions.

In chapel on November 11, 2004, Veterans Day, a military Chaplin spoke. He said that he was talking to a pacifist about the war and that believes that while they both have different views about the war, they are both headed in the right direction. Can this apply to political parties?

I was urged by a fellow classmate, Nathan, to tell my feelings of isolation to the class—I feel like I need to speak up but fear being attacked more.

Mahna Mahna!

2004-11-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

Mahna Mahna!

So, I've sent this link to some of the NT 400 people already, but I thought that I would share it with the rest of you as well. If your week was anything like mine you'll definately appreciate this...

Dr. Wagner played this song at the beginning of the second hour of exegesis, and most people were wondering what in the heck he was playing. It's Mahna Mahna folks. The song is from a muppet's video about a character named Mahna Mahna.....reminds me of friends back home who I've cracked up with watching this video. :) Anyway, I looked all around for the video and here it is! It's hysterical. (scroll to the bottom and click the video link)

Original Mahna Mahna video

And, as an added bonus...in the process of trying to find the original video I found another quite hysterial version.....

Political Mahna Mahna video

All I can say is, expecting to see the original version, I definately fell out of the chair laughing and confused when this came up!

I lied...all I can say is...Mahna Mahna! :)

Respect in differences

2004-11-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

Finally, I am through the week of educational insanity...well, I have one more paper, but I can write that while working at the Starbucks Kiosk tonight. Anyway, it's now time to make some more comments on my post on politics from the other day. I appreciate the people who have commented on it. If you ever want to leave a comment and don't have a blogger profile, and can't be bothered with signing up for one, all you have to do is post anonymously and say who you are. FYI.

I just want to clarify my concerns, because I think in my state of anger I did not say exactly what I wanted to. My main reason for posting what I did on Nov. 5 was to get people to think about how they speak towards and about people of different political parties.

What I don't appreciate is referring to someone of a different party than you in terms and ways that are disrespectful. This goes for both sides. It is not affective to tell someone that they are not a Christian because they voted a certain way or to tell them to leave the country because they do not like how things are. That's an attitude that disregards unity of any sort.

And when I speak of unity I am not saying that a united nation should consist of people who all believe the same thing. There can be a beauty in differences and you can disagree with someone and still have unity with them. It's a matter of respect. We are united when we begin to respect each other and our differences. How people with similar beliefs can come to two different religious and political views about society is a mystery to be as much as to the next guy.

But, more than anything, this is a plea for us to remember to respect those who are different than ourselves. Love each other in spite of differences.

I posted a link to an article The Jesus People Meme in the comment section of the Nov. 5. It raised another issue that I have been thinking about--mainly the role of morals in politics. For dialog on this issue go to Stephen's blog.

Educational Insanity and Me

2004-11-07T19:55:00.000-08:00

I just want to say that I'm on my 4th cup of coffee since 7pm-ish and therefore, wow, I am wired. Yet, extremely tired. Can I go home yet? Thanksgiving isn't such an exciting thing for me at the moment cause everyone else gets to go home and I don't have anywhere to go. I don't get to go home till Christmas. Of course, I have a cousin at Yale Law School that may staying there for Thanksgiving, so I hope that I can go hang out with him.... [cough] and a few of his [cough] single friends [cough].... Anyway, tons of studying and paper writing in the next week, so pray that I make it through! Don't know when I will be able to post next...